Florence Given - Women Don't Owe You Pretty

Florence Given - Women Don't Owe You Pretty   

2⭐

Genre: Non-Fiction, Feminism, Self-Help, LGBTQIA+, Mental Health 

Pages: 226

Format: Hardback

Publisher: Cassell, Octopus Publishing Group 

Date Published: 11th June 2020

Book Blurb: 

WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY will tell you to...

love sex, hate sexism,

protect your goddamn energy,

life is short, dump them,

And that you owe men nothing, least of all pretty.

Florence's debut book will explore all progressive corners of the feminist conversation; from insecurity projection and refusing to find comfort in other women's flaws, to deciding whether to date or dump them, all the way through to unpacking the male gaze and how it shapes our identity.

WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY is an accessible leap into feminism, for people at all stages of their journey who are seeking to reshape and transform the way they view themselves. In a world that tells women we're either not enough or too much, it's time we stop directing our anger and insecurities onto ourselves, and start fighting back to re-shape the toxic structures of our patriarchal society.

Florence's book will help you to tackle and challenge the limiting narrative you have been bombarded with your whole life, and determine feminism on your own terms. After all, you are the love of your own life.

My Review: 

Last year I read Girl Crush by Florence Given, which was her first fiction book. That book had a lot of potential but just fell flat. However, I thought I will give Given another chance and read her non-fiction book with an open mind.

I honestly tried to like this book but it was bad…Don’t get me wrong, Given touches on some very important issues in this book, but for the most part, it felt that she just continuously repeats the same things over and over again. Apart from her opinion on numerous issues and stating that these issues of sexism, abuse, representation, racism, and privilege, to name a few, exist, she doesn’t offer the reader any solutions or any deeper insights, other than her own views. Also, for me, the lack of facts and references to support Given’s opinions and claims is what made me really dislike this book. At times it just felt that she is going in circles in this book without adding any value, without offering any learning or any important messages for readers to take away from this book.

I personally really disliked the chapters on relationships, men and marriage. All those chapters felt very patronising, especially it felt that Given is telling the reader that we are all better off alone and single or queer, rather than having boyfriends or partners that are male. Also, in a very aggressive way, it was stated that if you want a marriage then you cannot be a feminist and love yourself as much, since you are stuck with a man. I just felt that the author hates males and doesn’t hide that fact, unconsciously making the reader feel bad if they are in a long-term relationship or have a partner or want a marriage.

Also, didn’t agree with the fact that Given thinks we should all be learning from social media rather than formal education and that social media these days is worth more than formal education. Again, no solutions or facts and figures were given to support this claim, which I would have been interested to read, as it is an interesting claim, but isn’t worth much if not supported by facts.

The only takeaways (which I don’t think we're the intended takeaways) from this book were that you aren’t a real feminist if you aren’t single or queer, you aren’t a feminist if you desire to have a relationship with a male partner, you are better off single as men will ruin you, and if you want to have pleasure use toys or have one-night stands, rather than have a long-term partner.

Overall: The only positives I took from this book were that it was quick and easy to read and that I finished it in a few hours. There are definitely better books about these issues and feminism from authors, such as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (We Should All Be Feminist), Caroline Criado Perez (Invisible Women), and Bernardine Evaristo, that actually offer not only their opinions and experience of these issues but also offer in-depth solutions, explanations, facts and figures. Don’t think that after this book I will be ever reading anything by Florence Given. Just don’t think her writing and books are for me. 

About the Author:

Florence Given is a London based artist and writer.

In 2018, she launched a petition to cancel Netflix's controversial fat-shaming series 'Insatiable', it gained over 300,000 signatures in a matter of days. The story became global news and she appeared on many news networks across the US and UK, as well as being interviewed for various publications including Huffington Post and Grazia.

A London-based artist and writer, Florence addresses social issues with unique and playful illustrations. She grew up in Plymouth and attended London College of Fashion. Boasting over 193k followers on Instagram, her work confronts oppressive attitudes towards women and their bodies, and she uses her platform to raise awareness of issues surrounding sexuality, consent, race and gender.

Florence designed the merchandise for Rita Ora's Girls Tour in May 2018, curated her first exhibition 'Girls Interrupted, and designed a limited-edition t-shirt for the fashion brand WEEKDAY. Alongside the tee (which featured the slogan "WOMEN DON'T OWE YOU PRETTY"), the entire collection sold out in under an hour.

https://www.florencegiven.com/

Baek SeHee - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

  

Baek SeHee - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

5 ⭐

Genre: Biography, Memoir, Non-Fiction, Mental Health, Self-Care, Health, Mind and Body, Korean Literature

Translated by: Anton Hur 

Original Title: 죽고 싶지만 떡볶이는 먹고 싶어

Original Language: Korean 

Pages: 208

Format: eARC on NetGalley 

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc (UK)

Date Published: 23rd June 2022

Huge Thank You to Bloomsbury UK and NetGalley UK for a copy of eARC to read and review! 

Book Blurb: 

Baek Se-Hee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, and overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal.

But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.

My Review: 

I really loved this book!  It is the first self-help book that I loved, actually enjoyed reading, and didn’t DNF’ed.

Firstly, it’s part memoir, featuring the author’s therapy sessions, where she is trying to find out why she is how she is, depressed, unhappy, with low self-esteem and always puts herself down. Secondly, it’s a part self-help book, where the author explains her mental health struggles without sugar-coating or glamorising it, whilst providing some explanation on different conditions and how it is possible to tackle them. The author also talks about how she is slowly overcoming her struggles, step by step and not always in a linear fashion, taking a few steps forward but in reality stumbling some ten steps backwards.

I love the honesty, the raw truth of mental health problems and how the author talks about her struggles, how she is not afraid to talk about her feelings too. I really liked how the book was so easy to read and felt really personal, like, I felt I was the one in the therapy room having the conversation with the therapist. I devoured this book in a few hours and would love to go back read it again and annotate, and add my thoughts (hopefully can do that once I get a physical copy when it's out). It was also so relatable, as most of the author’s struggles are so universal and some of us might face more than one in our everyday life.

This book is different but in such a good way, it stands out, as it's not your traditional ‘how to take care of your mental health’,  full of checklists and tips book. This book has a unique voice and true story, which makes it very raw and real, whilst teaching quite a lot about mental health from the perspective of our everyday life.

Overall:  I really think we need more books like this on mental health, as for me how the author bravely shared her feelings and thoughts on mental health conditions, made me think that more conversations like this need to happen in our communities and society to get over the stigma surrounding this subject. I can’t wait until it’s released, so I can buy a physical copy, re-read it and annotate it, and have it on my bookshelf to help me when I face hard moments in my life. It is translated so well, as writing just flows. It’s also so easy to understand, and there is some extra information provided, explaining Korean cultural nuances that the reader might not be familiar with.

Honestly, a book that is really worth a place on your bookshelf. 

This review was first published on NetGalley and can be found on:

https://www.netgalley.co.uk/book/252006/review/959200 

About the Author: 

Born in 1990, Baek SeHee studied creative writing at university before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die, but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, books one and two. Her favourite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog Jaram.

https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/author/baek-sehee/