Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Baek SeHee - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

  



Baek SeHee - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

5 ⭐

Genre: Biography, Memoir, Non-Fiction, Mental Health, Self-Care, Health, Mind and Body, Korean Literature

Translated by: Anton Hur 

Original Title죽고 싶지만 떡볶이는 먹고 싶어

Original Language: Korean 

Pages: 208

Format: eARC on NetGalley 

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc (UK)

Date Published: 23rd June 2022


Huge Thank You to Bloomsbury UK and NetGalley UK for a copy of eARC to read and review! 


Book Blurb: 

Baek Se-Hee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, and overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal.

But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.


My Review: 

I really loved this book!  It is the first self-help book that I loved, actually enjoyed reading, and didn’t DNF’ed.

Firstly, it’s part memoir, featuring the author’s therapy sessions, where she is trying to find out why she is how she is, depressed, unhappy, with low self-esteem and always puts herself down. Secondly, it’s a part self-help book, where the author explains her mental health struggles without sugar-coating or glamorising it, whilst providing some explanation on different conditions and how it is possible to tackle them. The author also talks about how she is slowly overcoming her struggles, step by step and not always in a linear fashion, taking a few steps forward but in reality stumbling some ten steps backwards.

I love the honesty, the raw truth of mental health problems and how the author talks about her struggles, how she is not afraid to talk about her feelings too. I really liked how the book was so easy to read and felt really personal, like, I felt I was the one in the therapy room having the conversation with the therapist. I devoured this book in a few hours and would love to go back read it again and annotate, and add my thoughts (hopefully can do that once I get a physical copy when it's out). It was also so relatable, as most of the author’s struggles are so universal and some of us might face more than one in our everyday life.

This book is different but in such a good way, it stands out, as it's not your traditional ‘how to take care of your mental health’,  full of checklists and tips book. This book has a unique voice and true story, which makes it very raw and real, whilst teaching quite a lot about mental health from the perspective of our everyday life.

Overall:  I really think we need more books like this on mental health, as for me how the author bravely shared her feelings and thoughts on mental health conditions, made me think that more conversations like this need to happen in our communities and society to get over the stigma surrounding this subject. I can’t wait until it’s released, so I can buy a physical copy, re-read it and annotate it, and have it on my bookshelf to help me when I face hard moments in my life. It is translated so well, as writing just flows. It’s also so easy to understand, and there is some extra information provided, explaining Korean cultural nuances that the reader might not be familiar with.

Honestly, a book that is really worth a place on your bookshelf. 


This review was first published on NetGalley and can be found on:

https://www.netgalley.co.uk/book/252006/review/959200 


About the Author: 

Born in 1990, Baek SeHee studied creative writing at university before working for five years at a publishing house. For ten years, she received psychiatric treatment for dysthymia (persistent mild depression), which became the subject of her essays, and then I Want to Die, but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, books one and two. Her favourite food is tteokbokki, and she lives with her rescue dog Jaram.
https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/author/baek-sehee/

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