Aiwanose Odafen - Tomorrow I Become A Woman

 

Aiwanose Odafen - Tomorrow I Become A Woman  

5 ⭐

Genre: Literary Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Fiction

Pages:  416

Format: Hardback 

Publisher:  Scribner UK

Date Published: 28th April 2022

 

Huge Thank You to Scribner UK/ TandemCollectiveUK for the copy of this book and for TandemCollectiveUK & ScribnerAmbassadorsUK for having me on their #TandemReadalong.

Book Blurb: 

When Gozie and Obianuju meet in August 1978, it is nothing short of fate. He is the perfect man: charismatic, handsome, Christian, and – most importantly – Igbo. He reminds her of her beloved Uncle Ikenna, her mother’s brother who disappeared fighting in the Civil War that devastated Nigeria less than a decade before. It is why, when Gozie asks her to marry him within months of meeting, she says yes, despite her lingering and uncertain feelings for Akin – a man her mother would never accept, as his tribe fought on the other side of war. Akin makes her feel heard, understood, and intelligent; Gozie makes her heart flutter.

For Uju, the daughter her mother never wanted, marriage would mean the attainment of that long-elusive state of womanhood, and something else she has desired all her life – her mother’s approval. All will be well; he is the perfect match, the country will soon be democratic again and the economy is growing, or so she thinks …

Loosely based on the real stories of real women known to the author, Tomorrow I Become a Woman follows a complex relationship between mother and daughter as they grapple to come to terms with tremendous loss. This powerful debut by Aiwanose Odafen is a sensitive exploration of a woman’s struggle to meet societal and cultural expectations within the confines of a difficult marriage, a tribute to female friendship and a love story that spans two decades and continents against a backdrop of political turmoil and a fast-changing world.

My Review: 

This is one of those books that stays with you for a long time! I loved it so much, even though at times it was so hard to read and the flood of all of the possible emotions hit me quite a few times in between the pages of this book. Aiwanose Odafen’s writing is so captivating, so beautiful and so raw, which makes it so hard to put this book down.

Obianuju (Uju), is an ambitious, intelligent, strong-minded woman, who is at university and wants to continue her studies further. However, her mother believes that Uju needs to get married whilst young and instead of education, she needs to dedicate her life to bearing children and loving her husband. Uju finds a perfect man, Gozie, who is everything that Uju’s mother wanted for her. Since Uju all her life wanted her mother to be proud of her, Uju marries Gozie, puts her dreams on hold and starts a family…The book follows Uju’s life after marriage, the struggles, the joys, the abuse from her husband and his family, the pressures and expectations from her mother, and the gender expectations put on her by people around her…However, Uju is not alone in this, she has her best friends Ada and Chinelo, who are also on this journey of being a good wife, mother and most of all to be a woman.

I loved that this book explored so many important cultural and societal topics that we sometimes shy away from. The one theme that shocked me, made me cry and made me feel a range of other emotions, was Uju’s relationship with her mother. At times her mother was so harsh and brutal and I was shocked when she didn’t find anything wrong that Uju’s husband is physically and mentally abusing Uju. Her mother just tells her repeatedly that it is her fault for not being a good enough wife and that she deserves the abuse. Those scenes made me sob, but they also made me learn so much about a different culture and how different generations understand and see marriage.

Odafen, also explores gender roles and male dominance in Nigeria, with females not having rights, money, power, opinions, or dreams, but having to obey their husbands, raise to the expectations that are set to them by the society and the church and live life the way other people decided for them. It made me think about patriarchal society and how it is different in various cultures and societies across the world.

All characters in this book are portrayed so well, they all felt real and with so much substance, emotions and baggage. It felt like I was there, watching as the plot unfolds, getting to know these characters, their personality, their individual stories and most of all following their story over the years and their change and growth. All this for me made this book perfect.

Overall: It is such a moving book! I learned so much about the country that I knew very little about and that’s the power of brilliant writing. I loved how the writing was raw and the author doesn’t shy from heavy topics throughout the whole book, starting with very complicated mother-daughter relationships, societal expectations of Nigerian women, male dominance, complicated political realities, remanence of the war wounds and how it all intertwines in the lives of Uju, her family and her best friends. Honestly, it’s a wonderful debut and I can’t wait for what Aiwanose Odafen will write next because I can’t wait to read it. 

About the Author: 

Aiwanose was born in Nigeria and spent the better part of her life wanting to be an accountant before discovering her love for writing. She has contributed to published nonfiction works in the past and was recently selected for and participated in Chimamanda Adichie's prestigious Purple Hibiscus Trust Writing Workshop. Her short story Faces was also longlisted for the 2020 Commonwealth Writers Short Story Prize.

Aiwa holds an MBA from the University of Oxford and during the day, works with the Clinton Health Access Initiative, helping to save lives. Tomorrow I Become A Woman is her first novel.

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